As our life began to change from a full house with 3 kids to a home of just hubby and me, I wondered what our lives would look like now. Will we get along? Will we still like each other? Will we want to spend time together? Do we have the same interests?
I soon realized this time in our lives felt like empty spaciousness as we began to have fun again as just the two of us. We began to cook together which resembled a cross between a Seinfeld show and Iron Chef. We can lay across the whole couch and watch the shows we want to watch, which is usually some home remodeling or cooking show. We can decide when clothing is optional or if pj's are required without the fear of anyone walking in needing something.
That last statement may make your eyes pop so let me explain. In order to access intimacy in a relationship there's a state of consciousness that is needed to allow for us to receive. We need to feel safe and confident in this state. If you and I were together having this conversation I know you would probably ask "Yea, but how do I achieve that place with my partner?" I believe it's a physiological shift of coming to a place of relating to the way in which your partner receives and functions. It's about stimulating all of the senses for each other with control. Intimacy isn't just the mingling of bodies, its connecting and mingling of our soul. I believe this mingling lends us breath which leads to life and don't we want life in our relationship with our spouse?
(In Hebrew, nefesh, usually translated as "soul," refers to the breath, as does the term neshamah (or nishmah ), which became the most common word for the soul in postbiblical Hebrew.)1
Now in our quest to control the senses we find there are a lot of tools we can have on hand to bring the freedom of intimacy we so desire. We can create a private cozy atmosphere by using candles, having fresh linens, and offering tantalizing scents. Adding the element of touch through massage is another way of bringing the desired effect we want to achieve.
When you're looking to bring more intimacy into your relationship, here's some inspiration and empowerment to help you take back the control to receive awakened love.
Oils to Spice up the Bedroom and terrific for diffusing or in a massage blend.
Has uplifting properties
Enhances the mood
Induces a state of calmness
Increases blood flow
Boost energy and stamina (apply to the bottom of the feet)
Supports healthy circulation
Can be diffused
Lessens sad and anxious feelings
Reduces tension and stress
Lovely when applied to pillow and bedsheets
Uplifting to the mind and body
Invigorates and enhances mood with a blend of Peppermint
Soothes tight, tense muscles
Supports localized blood flow
Lifts mood while having a calming effect
Helps balance hormones
Helps to lessen tension and stress
Promotes a positive outlook
Spice Up Your Sex Life (Massage blend #1)
One full bottle of carrier oil such as Fractionated Coconut Oil
2-10 drops Ylang Ylang
5 drops Lavender
3 drops Peppermint (desire a longer sensation? Use more peppermint)
3 drops Clove (if you want a warmer outcome - use more clove)
3 drops Cypress
2 drops Geranium
2 Drops Melaleuca (soothes minor skin irritations)
1-2 drops Wild Orange
Serious Arousal (Massage blend #2)
5ml empty pink (best for warming/arousing) or black pepper essential oil bottle with 3 drops of either added back into the bottle
Fill 3/4 with Fractionated Coconut Oil (FCO) or Sweet Almond Oil.
2 drops Cinnamon or Cassia (warming/arousing)
5 drops Sandalwood (calming)
10 drops Vetiver (grounding/sexy)
10 drops Wild Orange (uplifting)
5 drops Cananga (sexy/arousing) optional
Sexy Recipe (Massage blend #3)
5ml empty Peppermint essential oil bottle with 2 drops added (arousing/stimulating)
5 drops Bergamot (happy/calming)
10 drops Neroli (sexy/happy/arousing)
5 drops Ylang Ylang (sexy/arousing)
This one is many couples favorite massage recipe #4
115mL/3.8 oz pump bottle of FCO
10mL roller bottle
10 drops Yarrow|Pom (grounding/arousing)
10 drops Cananga (sexy/arousing)
15 drops Douglas Fir (arousing/grounding/stimulating)
5 drops Cypress (stimulating)
3 drops Fennel (stimulating)
3-5 drops Pink Pepper or Black Pepper. Pink is best (warming/arousing)
Life begins here!